Know your Rathore

Rajvardhan Singh

Army Colonel, supposed crack shot. Silver medal winner two Olympics ago. Said he was feeling “pressured” because of Automaton Bindra at the last Olympics. Bindra Gold, Rathore comes back with jack. So much for the Flag Bearer. Recently spotted in a fucked-up Hero Honda advertisement trying to drum up support for the Indian hockey team by threatening the viewer with his “achook nishana” or else sort of thing. Well, the Indian Hockey team had their ass handed to them by everyone, but beat the Pakis, which counts as a great achievement around here. Loser poster boy for loser team. Dhak dhak India.

SP S

Until recently, Director General of Police of some backward state in North India. Used said status to molest some kid who then killed herself. Thanks to the status enjoyed by top cops and the so-called justice system, made merry till a few months ago when he was handed a suspended sentence and a fine which was the equivalent of $20. Media hyenas pick up on the story for their own narrow agendas. Not that they really are for truth or justice or anything, lest you think so. They whipped up public resentment into pursuing SPS with more cases and in one instance being stabbed in the face thrice by some misguided NID fellow. SPS shrugs off stabbing and continues to grin his way through the whole mess.

Kiran

This one is also called Rathod in some places so if we got it wrong, enjoy the eye candy upon googling and don’t mail us. Two-bit actress who had a role as a maid in some flick in 2001. Good thing Shiny Ahuja wasn’t in the cast.

Vikram

Debutante cricketer who made it to one ODI match against England in 1996 and scored 50. S Ganguly, who was the center of attention during that tour for spending more time on his phone than at the crease probably also scored. But not at the crease. Vikram faded into oblivion, but Ganguly is, sadly still around.

Dr Mobeen

No reason for this really, save for the name coming up in Google searches. Pediatric infectious diseases are her domain. If you have infectious kids, go see her and keep clear of us. My name is Ishmael.

First published in KIRIK 02, March 2010

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